If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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