sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
