You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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