thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
