you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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