i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
