OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
