I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
