Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
