Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Me. At least after what I've been through.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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