Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
