I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
