I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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