So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
