The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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