I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
