he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
