Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
