I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
