Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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