your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
