shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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