I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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