Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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