I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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