what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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