Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
