Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
