please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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