his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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