im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
