If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
