Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
