I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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