I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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