I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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