Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
