hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
