is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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