you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
