You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
