sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
