he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
