Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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