He is an equal opportunity slut.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
