Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
