I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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