It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
