so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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