I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
