Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You took a bar mat shot.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
