12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
