I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
