Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
