SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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