Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
