If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dignity is for republicans.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
